Short jokes
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."