Short jokes
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
LewenGOALski
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!