Short jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?

Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵

What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?

All his comebacks take three days.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."