Short jokes
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.