I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
Short Jokes
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
