Short jokes
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
Arsenal
A seal walks into a club.
FIERY LOS
You want a joke? My entire existence.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
AIDS?
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
F*ck me!