Short jokes
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"