Short jokes
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
FIERY LOS
You want a joke? My entire existence.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?