Short jokes
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
Psyonix's OCE servers.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
What is fall?
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
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You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.