Short jokes
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.