Short jokes
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.