Short jokes
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
I wish my name was Voyager 2...
So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
Heard the Helen Keller single? It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.