My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Short Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
