What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Short Jokes
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
