Short jokes
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Caca.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Kasper has a tiny penis.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.