Short jokes
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.