Short jokes
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
"I’m coming for you two!"
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
I don't know.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
69.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.