Short jokes
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.