Short jokes
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.