Short jokes
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
Bunger.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.