Short jokes

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

Why can't orphans ride a bike?

'Cause their parents won't follow them.

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.