Short jokes

Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?

He likes to hit small white balls.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!