Short jokes
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.