Short jokes
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
I am a volcano.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.