Short jokes
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Cleveland Browns
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.