Short jokes

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

I'm back on BIGO Live.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

I wish my name was Voyager 2...

So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)