Short jokes

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.