Short jokes
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.