Short jokes
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Happy April Fool's Day.
I am the fool, now fuck me.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
"Peppa's ribs."
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.