Short jokes
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.