Short jokes
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.