What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
Short Jokes
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Trump, must I say more?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
