Short jokes

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

Who are the fastest readers?

The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

I think one of my dads might be gay.

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮‍💨

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in a different box.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.