Short jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"