Short jokes
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.
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Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Why is my dick like a balloon? The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.