Short jokes
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.