Short jokes

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?

Cheddar!

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

I made a website for orphans.

It doesn't have a home page.

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.