Short jokes
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.