Short jokes
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.