Short jokes
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.