Short jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
Hi 👋 ooooo has tyyyyyyyyuyuyu
Mustard
"Yooby Fo Birthday boy."
Capital Of San Marino?
ふべrt Hubert Wonk Don DingT ding
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
What YouTube channel did Mt. Fuji subscribe to? Chrissy Man.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
I love Little Mix.