Short jokes
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What time is fun?
Time for games!
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
nOnBiNaRy TrAsH
Like if you are scared of Covid-19.
Shush, you schmuck! Please read!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.