Short jokes

Short jokes

School Bus

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

Nose

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Sister

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Titanic

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

Okay

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

Cell phone

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

Cat

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

Grape

Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?

Alexander the raisin.

Puppy

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

Indian

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

Homosexual

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩