Short jokes

Short jokes

School Bus

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Nose

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Sister

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Okay

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

Indian

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

Lip

Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.

Grape

Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?

Alexander the raisin.

Cell phone

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

Homosexual

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! πŸ’©

Puppy

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

Cat

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"