Short jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What is black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Money is power, and power is sex. Sex is ex, and ex is virgin.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Angel is a good word.
What does a mermaid do when she gets hurt?
Goes to the nurse shark.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.