Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his Dick where it don't belong!
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on fathers day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
“what happened to ur arm?” “oh uh.. i became a gacha emo”
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
what does Stephen hawking have in common with a bull ? they both charge
what do you call a depressed emo ,dead
your hairline is so bad the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Hellen keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare
