Short jokes
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Jake Paul
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
That dam looks damn cool!