Short jokes
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
What did I do with the internet?
"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"
Dude named Guys:
Dude named Out:
Dude named School: