Short jokes
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.