Short jokes
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Who?
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
I miss playing baseball.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.