Short jokes
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
What is
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
TODAY'S BRAIN CELL COUNT:
2, and both are competing for 5th place.