What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Short Jokes
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What's worse than ten dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in ten trash cans...lol
I have a girlfriend.
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
