Short jokes
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
What is playing with you?
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Skeppy is the joke.
Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?