Short jokes
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
I love Little Mix.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.