Short jokes
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.