Short jokes
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.