Short jokes
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
Weβre bananas!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you wonβt regret it.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Whatβs the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls