Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Short Jokes
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
How do mountains see? They peek.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Fennec users lmao.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
