Short jokes
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.