Short jokes
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.