Short jokes
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Hillary Clinton
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.