Short jokes

Short jokes

Handicapped man

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

Orphan

What is the similarity between orphans and apples?

They both get thrown out.

Kid

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

Suicide

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

Fight

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

Lightning

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Wwii

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

Depression

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

School

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Date

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Hole

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

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  • Man

    Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.