Short jokes
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.