Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Short Jokes
I am the grand wizard, mak.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Women suck (GET IT?!)
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
