Short jokes
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.