Short jokes
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.