Short jokes
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.