Short jokes
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Boner.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.