Short jokes

Short jokes

Milk

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

Vampire

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

Suicide

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

Hairline

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Orphanage

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

School

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Foreskin

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Lightning

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Apple

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.