Short jokes
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.