Short jokes
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.