Short jokes
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!