Short jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.