Short jokes

Short jokes

Friend

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!

Man

Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."

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  • Jesus

    What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

    "Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

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  • Abortion

    Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

    Gay

    Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight

    Sex

    A couple is on their first date.

    Man: How do you feel about sex?

    Woman: I like it infrequently.

    Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

    Vegan

    How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

    They'll tell you.

    Company

    What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

    They both enjoy kids' company.

    Grandpa

    When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

    He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.