Short jokes
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.