Short jokes
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.