Short jokes
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.