Short jokes
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.