Short jokes

Short jokes

Fortune

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

Yo mama

Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

Worm

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

Adoption

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

Russia

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

Criminal

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

Pasta

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

Child

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.