Short jokes
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!