So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
I was accused of rape, but a swear she was a whore
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Pizza hut
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
IDK
Why cant Chinese play baseball? Because they eat the bats
What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak
2 people are under the covers. The man says "Quote the Beatles: Cum together!"
What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
are you my pantry bc u look like a snack ;)
wood fired pizza?
hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
please drop a like
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak ? So as to not smash his head against the tree
