Short jokes
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Wassup? (DYM 109)
Steven Hawking
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.