Short jokes
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
I like my kids like I like my lamps. Hung from the ceiling.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
I don't give two shits about how evil these are. They're funny.
Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.
Jake Paul
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.