Short jokes

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.

You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!

I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Golly.

Golly who?

Godly leave me alone!

WwwassfcfqaaszzxQffffgg.

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.

Clarm chin ass bou ducky wack wakaka chuck chuyli bingbong DA sauec.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.