Short jokes
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.