Short jokes
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF!"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.