Short jokes
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.