Short jokes
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
It's a tower.
No, it's a plane.
Me: Nope, it's 9/11.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.