Short jokes
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
My fucking life, cya.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣