Short jokes
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.