Short jokes
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.