Short jokes
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.