Short jokes

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

Why did the feminist kill herself?

Because she was TRIGGERED.

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?

Paul Walker’s Porsche.

I hate snow. It's white and on my land.

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?

A LETHAL WEAPON!

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?

Answer: disappearing acts.

I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

Why are orphans good at dodgeball?

They can dodge adoptions.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.