Short jokes
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.