Short jokes
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.