Short jokes
What's big and black?
My balls.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Did you know that water is wet?
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
You're gay, stop reading.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.