Short jokes
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.