Short jokes
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
My fucking life, cya.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.