Short jokes
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
What do you call a gay T-Rex?
A tyranno-sore-ass!
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.