Short jokes
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.