Short jokes

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

My fucking life, cya.

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

Very little.

Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?

"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"

"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.

Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?

"Hello Ladies!"

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...