Short jokes
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Why did Pikachu chase Ash?
Because he wanted to Ketchum.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
Two sentence horror stories go.
How can you help a llama on holiday? Alpaca your bags.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
I am a motherfucker.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.