Short jokes
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."