What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Short Jokes
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
