Short jokes
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
There is one rapist among us.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.