Short jokes
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"