Short jokes

Short Jokes

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.