Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Short Jokes
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
