Short jokes
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.