Short jokes
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
I just shed my pants.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."