Short jokes
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.