Short jokes

Short jokes

Lion

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

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  • Swing

    Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

    Knock, knock. Who's there?

    Not Bob.

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  • Adoption center

    An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"

    Orphan

    Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?

    Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

    Virgin

    Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

    Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

    Goldfish

    I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

    Fox

    What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?

    “Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”

    Cock

    My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.

    Cigarette

    What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?

    They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.