Short jokes
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.