Short jokes
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Two towers.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
Politics.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
First (DYM 68).
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
What did kings say when they were made king? Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
You can’t land on Uranus XD
Saw (DYM 69).
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.