Short jokes
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.