Short jokes
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."