Short jokes
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Me, myself, and I.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Slay.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
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If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.