Short jokes
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!