Short jokes
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)