Short jokes
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: šāāļøšāāļøšāāļø
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! šø
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. š¤£š¤£š¤£
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."