Short jokes
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.