Short jokes
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"