Short jokes
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
This is for all of the men.
What do you call a penis that disappears? A Magic Johnson.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.