Short jokes
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store? She called for a price check.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.