Short jokes
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.