Short jokes
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.