Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Short Jokes
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
