Short jokes

What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to turn them on before they start to suck.

What do bees do when they get married?

They go on a honeymoon.

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?

The hole experience.