Short jokes
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
"Rapeboat momma" on OnlyFans. Rapeboat is her number one sub.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Hey Qwen, it's me.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Banana!
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”