Short jokes
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.