Short jokes
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
moo.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.