Short jokes
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."