Short jokes
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.