Short jokes
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!