Short jokes
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Balls in your jaws.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.