Short jokes
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."