Short jokes
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!