Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Short Jokes
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
