Short jokes
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.