Short jokes
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Balls in your jaws.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.