Short jokes
It’s Christmas. Merry Christmin. Merry Chrirismas. Merry Chrisis. Merry Chrsyler.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"