Short jokes
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.