Short jokes
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...