Short jokes
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
What brings kids to school every day?
A school bus 🚌.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
ふべrt Hubert Wonk Don DingT ding
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"