Short jokes
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)