Short jokes

Short jokes

Coconut

My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."

Bar Code

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

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  • Teacher

    What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

    The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

  • 2
  • Donald Trump

    Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?

    Donald Trump can only F@#k up.

  • 2
  • Butcher

    At a date:

    He: "I work with animals every day."

    Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

    He: "I'm a butcher."

  • 2
  • Water

    If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

    H2O cubed.

    Finish

    What do painters and prostitutes have in common?

    They're both paid for a good finish.

  • 0
  • Frog

    What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

    One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

    Fan

    I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

    Buddy

    I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

    Emo

    I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

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  • Depth

    I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

    Therapist

    My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

    He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

    Google

    Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.