Short jokes
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
Shush, you schmuck! Please read!
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.