My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Short Jokes
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
I don't have luck with other angels.
So I just WING IT!
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
