Short jokes
Get up, you lazybones!
"DΓ©jΓ moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You canβt beat it, but if you do, sheβll probably come back again.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Women.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?