Short jokes
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.