Short jokes
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.