Short jokes
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.