Short jokes

Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?

So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.

At baseball practice...

"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"

"No, but I got two right here."

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

Because he kept on running out of the pen.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

-JFK

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?

Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

The dinosaur once existed.

Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.

Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!

What war did Africa not win? The water fight.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.