Short jokes
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
your mom
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.