Short jokes
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
What does a house wear?
A dress.