Short jokes

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

I love Muslims, they are great at parties!

They have the best fireworks.

What's the twin towers' favorite football team?

New York Jets.

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?

So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

I bought a book for my blind friend.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.

And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?

Because he didn't have enough space.

What does an imouto ride?

Onii-san.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A stego-sore-ass.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.