Short jokes
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.