Short jokes
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.