Short jokes
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.