Short jokes
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.