Short jokes
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
xxx
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
Dinkleberg!
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Why did the skeleton feel alone?
He was BONEsome.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!