Short jokes
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
One word. Creeper.
Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
Happy April Fool's Day.
I am the fool, now fuck me.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.